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Bonkers Blog

The Little Things

February 27, 2017

Parenting is all about milestones, large and small. Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the big things, like the first steps, the first word, the first time your baby sleeps through the night. But in general, I find the smaller things to be much more endearing. They captivate why it’s so wonderful to be a mother. They’re the every day things that you can’t really talk about with people because they think you’re crazy. But when you look down at your little person and they do something that’s just so human, it’s such a reminder that you’re raising a beautiful, confident, amazing little creature. And that’s worth celebrating every day.

Henry has been doing some small things that just melt my heart lately.

  • When airplanes go overhead, he stops everything he’s doing, points to the sky, and says “wowwwww!”. He’s obsessed with them. When he hears the sound he starts to look around for the airplanes.
  • He’s signing “more” whenever he wants something, and he says “moooooooooore” when he does it, in the cutest little kid voice ever.
  • I always do a “1, 2, 3!” countdown whenever we’re about to do something fun (like when I throw him in the air, or I’m picking him up, or whatnot). So now he likes to yell “Three!!!!!!!” right before he does something on his own, like go down the slide. It’s the best.
  • He is obsessed with the blue balls in his ball pit, so he brings all the blue balls to me (and says “blue ball” while doing so) and stacks them up on my lap. It’s just precious.
  • He’s in love with all things with wheels right now. He loves pushing trucks, cars, or anything even without wheels.
  • He grasps my hand firmly when we’re walking down stairs. It’s just so cute.
  • When he sets his sippy cup down carefully on his highchair tray as if he knows he’s going to want to drink out of it again soon. This is a stark contrast from his typical behavior, which is to throw it on the floor.
  • When he decides to be lazy and bring his mouth to the high chair instead of picking things up with his fingers.
  • He does this “dance” where he just waves his hands up and down. He’s a very subtle dancer.
  • He is in love with books and he brings them to me, 20 in a row, and plops down on my lap so that I can read them.
  • He will pick up a fake phone (or a real cell phone), hold it to his ear, and say “hiiiiiiiii”.
  • Speaking of “hiiiii”, he says it to every person we see in stores or on walks. It’s the greatest.
  • He’s really into swings lately. He used to just be kinda ‘meh’ on them, but now he’ll swing for 30 minutes straight.

Bonkers Blog

It’s, um, February?

February 26, 2017

Well, blog, I’ve been a bad friend. It’s been like 4 months since I’ve thought of you. I’m such a flake.

When we left off, Henry turned 1. And then all of a sudden I apparently felt like his life wasn’t worth documenting anymore. Whoops.

A lot of things have happened since then. Let’s see if a can do a quick recap:

  • Henry started with a new nanny at home, and that’s still going well.
  • Henry learned how to walk, then he learned how to run. So that’s going as expected.
  • He had a Christmas, and it was a mighty fine one filled with too many toys.
  • Henry went on his first airplane, to Minnesota, and he was a beast.
  • He had his first flu, which was terrible.
  • He had eleventy billion fevers (and is subsequently going to a fever clinic shortly to be checked for a periodic fever syndrome)
  • We got a Disneyland Annual Pass, so we’ve been there a few times and it’s been a lot of fun
  • Henry became a toddler, complete with tantrums and a lot of big uncontrollable emotions.
  • I went on my first weekend trip away (to Vegas) and it was fun but I missed him a lot. I just booked my second one for the end of March (to Austin).
  • He had a haircut, which I instantly regretted and have sworn off haircuts for possibly ever.
  • He’s talking a whole bunch, and also signing a couple of words as well.
  • He weaned off the boob and started drinking bottles, and then now is almost completely off bottles entirely.
  • Somehow he became 17 months and doesn’t really seem like a baby anymore.
  • My divorce became official on January 1st.
  • I started selling LuLaRoe in November and I’m still not sure if it’s a net win or not.
  • I lost 25 pounds on the keto diet. Then I gained 10 back. Then I lost those 10 pounds again. Good times?

Life as a single mom is something. I have days where I’m super overwhelmed and I’m so thankful for an hour of help. Then I have days where I just want to do it 100% myself. I have days where I want to up and move from San Diego because it’s expensive and I feel very isolated. Then I have days where I’m in love with the mountains and the palm trees and the carne asada burritos.

In general, I feel like I’m doing well. Henry is happy and thriving, and he’s such a pleasant little soul (when he’s not getting four molars at once, jesus christ). Most days I have no time for PinterestMomming, blogging, or doing pretty much anything for myself except maybe watching an hour or two of trashy television while simultaneously refreshing Facebook all night looking for something interesting. I am usually pretty tired, because I can’t fall asleep until 11 or 11:30 and then I wake up anywhere from 6-7am with a middle-of-the-night wakeup most nights. I enjoy coffee.

Also apparently I’ve decided to just call him Henry instead of Bonkers on this blog. Oh well.

Bonkers Blog

1st Birthday for Bonkers

September 29, 2016

I’ll spare you the jibber jabber about “omg how can he be 1 already, time is flying, blahblahblah” and just say that we had a party and it was really nice. Like, unexpectedly so. I was minimally stressed (which is a huge accomplishment these days), everything went really well. Bonkers’ dad, my best friend, and my mom were all such a great help, that I didn’t have to do much on the day except eat some cake, drink some punch, and snap some photos. Oh, and open presents – which is pretty cool. Since I’m an Old Lady now, birthdays are pretty uneventful for me…so now I get the excitement of opening tons of prezzies again. Sweet!

14445182_936508887964_4496687141177989653_oI went with a Daniel Tiger “theme”, which meant I bought a party pack on Amazon and had his cake designed with DT. Bonkers *loves* Daniel Tiger, even though he watches maybe 1 hour per month. Everytime the “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood” song comes on, he starts smiling. And I can always say “Hi neighbor!” when I want to cheer him up. I thought it was only fitting to have DT there to oversee the festivities. We held the party in our private neighborhood park, which worked out because there was a playground there for the kids to play on and a couple of picnic tables.


The most amazing moment was during his cake eating ceremony, in which he said to hell with using his hands and dove his face into the cake headfirst. It was hysterical. Afterward he wasn’t sure if he should cry or laugh about having cake all over his eyes, but it ended up being a huge entertainment win for the party. I’m glad he didn’t let me down, because I was *sure* that he was going to refuse to even touch the smash cake.


He got more toys than he needs, but everything was super cute. He also got a lot of books, which is awesome because he’s on a book craze right now. It was nice to see everyone, friends even drove down from Los Angeles to hang out with us for a couple of hours. It was a really nice day even in 90 degree Santa Ana heat. I guess I’ll allow Bonkers to have more birthdays in the future. 🙂

Bonkers Blog

Cloth Diaper Review: Pockets & AIOs

September 3, 2016

I’ve been using cloth diapers now for only a couple of months with my 11mo son, so I’m certainly not an expert. I have, however, done a lot of internet research and I’ve bought and tried a lot of diapers so far. I, um, might have a diaper addiction. I thought I’d jot some notes down about the various cloth diapers I’ve bought.

Note: Since my daycare requires either pre-stuffed pockets or AIOs, that’s all I’m reviewing here. I know a lot of people have success with prefolds/covers, AI2s, or fitteds, but we don’t have a ton of experience with those. Also, keep in mind that every baby is different! Some have chubbier legs or waists, some are heavier wetters, some diapers might work better on a boy or a girl. You’ll have to try yourself and see what works. I recommend using a Buy/Sell/Trade group on Facebook for your local area for an economical way to experiment and find what works for you.

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Bonkers Blog

Welcome to September

September 1, 2016

Good grief, it’s been a minute since I’ve posted hasn’t it? Best of intentions, naturally, but can I just say that a giant bird loaded up with turds has flown over my life and let loose a poo tsunami on me (poonami, heh heh)? Okay, it hasn’t been that bad, but the last couple of weeks have been incredibly trying.  I’m starting to wonder if my “new normal” isn’t just going to be constantly behind, chasing sanity, and trying to hold things together for just One More Day.

Let’s see, shall we? Bonkers started his new daycare. Not sure if I posted about that, but the daycare is super cute and it’s crunchy enough for me, and they take good care of the kids. He went for 6 days, and then had to stay home with a cold. It was like a booger explosion, so I didn’t think he should be around the kids. I took him out for 2 days to try to get him over that, and then I get the dreaded text from daycare: “two confirmed cases of Hand, Foot, and Mouth.”  Fuck. Double fuck. He just literally had this awful disease a month ago, and now it’s going around again?

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Bonkers Blog

Like A Glove

August 14, 2016

Well, gosh you guys. I’m moved in! The actual move itself was uneventful, and by a stroke of fantastic luck (and lots of hand sanitizer) Bonkers managed to stay healthy until Friday night upon which he came down with a fever. I should have known that it was impossible to get a full month of good health! 3 weeks seems to be his record since he started daycare in February — y’all weren’t kidding about kids being germ factories.

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Bonkers Blog

Two Days Until Move Day!

August 8, 2016

Somehow, it became August 8th and I secured the keys to my new rental townhouse yesterday.  Woohoo! I’m now just inches away from the fresh start I’m starving for, in my new home just me, Bonkers, and Belladog.

I decided right away after viewing the property that I wanted to paint. The landlords weren’t planning to paint in between tenants, and I didn’t like how dark and grimy the color looked. So I decided to spend a wee bit of money on freshening it all up, making it lighter and brighter and more my “style”. My current house was painted in Sherwin Williams Eider White and it’s such a great almost-gray mostly-white color. I ended up deciding to just emulate it.

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Bonkers Blog

Happy World Breastfeeding Week 2016

August 1, 2016

To the outsider, breastfeeding probably seems like a really weird thing to get all pumped up about (ha, pumped..see what I did there?). I mean, it’s just flopping a boob out to feed a baby, right? If you have never done it, it’s impossible to impart just how challenging it can be.

In the early days, we used a nipple shield. It was a huge pain in the booty because I always had to have this little clear rubber thing around, my dog liked to steal them and chew them up, and they were messy and kept popping off and spraying milk everywhere. They made breastfeeding outside of the house tedious as well. It took 2 1/2 months before I could wean him from it, and that felt like an eternity. I dealt with all sorts of fun like engorgement, leaking all over the place all the time, going through bra pads like crazy, cracking and painful nipples. In those early weeks, I hardly remember a time where Bonkers wasn’t latched on to my breast. He was a “barracuda”, the lactation consultant said. He would dive in like he’d never eaten before every time, chomp on, and stay latched for hours. He slept beside me all night long for the first 6 months, nursing on me like an all-night buffet. It was challenging, but it was beautiful.

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Bonkers Blog

On Wanting a Large Family

July 31, 2016

Going into this whole parenthood thing, I felt pretty strongly that one child was probably going to be enough. Maybe two, if life worked out that way. I am an only child, and growing up I don’t remember being particularly salty about it. (Though, I did tell my kindergarden teacher that I had 5 siblings, so maybe there were some subconscious misgivings…) To be honest, I haven’t really been disappointed about not having siblings until my adult life. There’s a kinship that some of my adult friends have with their siblings that I’m simply missing in my life.

Maybe it’s because I marathoned a billion episodes of Parenthood during my maternity leave, but I’m finding lately that I’m really craving a big supportive close family. I think being a mother to Bonkers has made me want that “village” that it supposedly takes, and given I have no local close friends with children and basically no social life to meet them…well, I’m feeling a bit, alone?

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Bonkers Blog

The Cloth Diaper Rabbit Hole

July 28, 2016

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was intrigued by the idea of cloth diapering. I ended up being mostly convinced not to do it, by my son’s father who was disgusted at the idea of having to handle poop so intimately and deal with body fluids being in his washer & dryer. Now that our child care situation is changing (and my ex no longer lives with us), I’m going back down the rabbit hole and I just purchased a bunchload of cloth diapers.

I actually tried cloth diapering for about two days when Bonkers was 3 months old, but it didn’t work out because I didn’t enjoy prefolds and Bonkers was going to a daycare that didn’t allow cloth. So that idea went down the drain. Now that he’s 10 months, I know it’s a bit late (savings-wise) to switch to cloth, but I’m doing it anyway because he’s been getting some diaper rash, they’re cute, and they’re mostly eco-friendly. (Though that whole drought thing is still an issue I suppose….)

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